The father’s role during pregnancy and the first months of life
By: Santiago Ortega Serrano
There is a belief in our society that the father is the provider of material goods for a better development of the child and his partner. Fortunately, this belief has been disappearing and now the father has a more active role.
In this article, I would like to discuss the two most important roles of men. The role of a man as a partner and the role of a man as a father. Everything starts when the couple decides to get pregnant. Pregnancy is a difficult process for the mother, where she will undergo physical and emotional changes. It is in that period where being a father will emerge. He will take care of the mother during this 9 month process. In the first pregnancy, it would be good for the father to go with her to the gynecologist so that he can participate in the pregnancy. That is why I say that it is not the woman who is pregnant, it is the couple who is pregnant. In some very solid couples, we have seen cases that the man is so much in contact with the woman that he is the one who suffers the symptoms (vomiting, morning sickness, headaches) and the woman can be more at ease. This tells us something about the unity and support that can be provided by the father, the couple, the man.
On the other hand, childbirth can be a difficult and painful process for the mother. The father can support the mother in this process which will help him realize his paternity when he sees his child being born.
When there is a new member in the family, the mother will be taking care of the baby for many hours. It is important that the father supports the mother, to give her the support she needs. Armano Barriguette (well known psychoanalyst) states that the sufficiently good father is the one who makes the mother “shine”.
Supporting the mother is not the only father’s role, he should also provide the triad (father, mother, child) with enough security to go on. He should also be able to hold the baby when the mother is tired, and lull him/her. It is funny how the baby discovers the world around them: the mother, while she breastfeeds him/her, he/she discovers her eyes, hands, smell; nevertheless, while his father holds him/her, he/she discovers his neck. The father is the one who gives the child the physical and psychic strength while doing this activities with him that will allow the child to discover his father while his partner rests.
Modern psychology, pediatrics and pedagogy invite the father to play an active role for the best development of his child. At the same time this is something that benefits the couple because it has been observed that if the father is present with quality time and playing a good parental role, the couple is strengthen and grows.
